Okay so todays post is going to be something a little different. As you can see from the title, I am going to be talking about facing your fears.
Why would I talk about something like this? Seems a bit random.
Well the thing is, fear is an important topic when talking about any growth or progress in life and I would consider growth and progress a huge part of what this website stands for.
Somewhere people can find interesting reads on how to improve themselves in some way.
Or somewhere to come look at my shitty writing and laugh about it.
Either is fine by me, as long as it benefits you in some way I’m doing what I’ve set out to achieve.
Fear is good
You’re probably sick to death of people telling you to just face your fears head on and get on with it.
Knowing full well that you will completely shit your pants and run away like a 3 year old child when it comes to facing your fears.
Yes, I do believe that you need to face those fears (hence the title) but what I think will help you in facing your fears, is to change your perception of the fear itself and how it effects your life.
This has been something that has helped me personally.
It’s hard changing your perceptions because they become almost ingrained into your subconscious from an early age.
The trick is to form new ways of thinking and make them a habit and part of your daily life. Over time with repetitive behaviours (habits) your perception will start to change.
The first thing you need to do is realise that fear is good, in fact it is essential. Without it, life wouldn’t be very fulfilling at all.
My experience with fear
My thinking was always that fear was bad and that it was best to avoid it like the plague. Whether it was speaking in public, starting a blog or meeting new people, fear always had this grip over me in these situations.
As I got a bit older (maybe not wiser) and went to university I started to get into self development.
I would read endless articles and books, watch hours of videos on how you can become the best version of yourself and start a hugely profitable business which will turn you into a multi millionaire within a few years.
During this period, even though I liked reading about these things and they made me feel good in the moment, I still had that fear of taking action. It was this same fear that held me back from doing many other things in my life.
I realised that the fear was there and it wasn’t going anywhere.
I suddenly stopped and thought to myself that if this fear was always going to be there in my life then why not embrace it, treat it as though it were my friend.
Every time fear popped up I seen it as an indicator that I was growing and doing something right, so therefore I was less afraid to confront it.
It is with this thinking my perception started to change. Fear was always there but facing it was that little bit easier because I was looking at it in a different way.
The Fear
Ever since I was young I always had this fear of open water swimming. If I was on holiday or happened to be doing some outdoor water sports, I always had this anxiety about getting into the water.
For me I knew it was a completely irrational fear.
If I got into water and couldn’t see the bottom, but instead all I could see was this deep blue or a black chasm of nothingness then my brain went into overdrive.
‘What if a shark comes and eats me?
What if something pulls me down and I drown?
All these thoughts would circle my head until I got out of the water.
But the funny thing was that I loved swimming and I really wanted to stay in the water without being so afraid while doing it.
With my new found perception on fear I took this as a sign that I needed to face the fear and go towards it.
Luckily for me I had close access to the perfect environment….. The Sea.
I live in Liverpool and my apartment is very close to the local water sports centre, meaning I have access to outdoor swimming, canoeing as well as other water sporting activities.
I would jog past this centre every morning and I would see people swimming about the dock with ease. I thought to myself ‘Why can’t I do that?’
Fast forward to a few weeks later and I finally plucked up the courage to get into the water.
This was a very big step for me. A few months earlier I don’t know if I could have done this at all.
Was I terrified getting in?
Yes.
Am I still terrified getting in?
Not as much as I used to be.
And that is because I faced my fear head on, but with the help of changing my perception on the fear itself.
I knew getting in the water was safe.
I also knew that if I could get comfortable in the water then it would actually benefit me and allow me to progress.
Nothing beats the feeling of facing your fears, then overcoming them. It’s why it is there as obstacle in the first place, so you can get past it and feel that sense of achievement.
Making things personal
Everything I have just explained to you is from my own personal experience and may not totally resonate with you.
That’s okay.
The message I want to get across is that you shouldn’t let your fear get in the way of doing what you want to do.
Look up other methods of facing your fears.
I read an interesting book by Ant Middleton a few months ago called The Fear Bubble.
Ant takes a completely different approach when it comes to overcoming fear. His method has helped loads of people from a wide range of backgrounds, including myself.
Take the responsibility into your own hands and go for it!
We all have this issue so if one person can find this useful in overcoming their own fears then I’m more than happy about that.
I think this quote by Alexander The Great is still just as true today as it was when it was written thousands of years ago.
“Through every generation of the human race there has been a constant war, a war with fear. Those who have the courage to conquer it are made free and those who are conquered by it are made to suffer until they have the courage to defeat it, or death takes them.”